I keep trying to write this in an order that makes sense but adulthood has not been a straight path and I have failed, been a child, gotten back up … whatever you want to call it. There are many times I have done a little less of surviving adulthood and there are times I have done more than survive. Currently, I am somewhere between a “what the fuck is happening”.
If I could go back in time …
I would tell myself all about the years of health battles to come. I would first say, I am sorry it only gets tougher. I would tell myself I was not crazy for experienceable unexplainable bouts of sickness. I know now all bout how many people including health professionals when there is nothing concrete to point to. How like many black women, the healthcare system has failed me over and over. I would tell myself I was too young to advocate properly & it is okay because you will get better. I would tell myself the first health decision you have to make for yourself will be the first of many. It would affect every part of your life, you will do all the things you’re meant to anyway (trust me, I’m working on it)
I knew I was an adult when …
I’ll let you know when I find out. honestly, I am not sure. I have moments of adulthood or feeling confident in my decisions & path but I do not ever remember a moment I felt I was an adult & never looked back (lol). I felt like an adult when I moved into my own apartment for the first time. Adulthood came with working a full-time job in my field. It would come when I signed as co-owner of a business. It would come when I went home for the first in ten years. It would come as I look at my parents, seeing our pictures, and wondering how much time could have passed between then and now.
adulting taught me that …
friendships, real genuine friendships will always hold you down in the end. It will matter who you pick to do this life with; and yes, sometimes people come and go, it is part of the friendship cycle. Find your core, invest in them, love on them. My friendship community has gotten me through every time and I am infinitely grateful to be adulting with them.
Finally,
surviving adulthood is about one-day thriving adulthood. the goal is to be proud of myself, to do things & be a person I am unwaveringly proud of ( + happy to be). whatever yours is, may your path be guided.
- Shully Sappire Rubinstein